When I was young I fell in love. I was very young, only fifteen. He was in college. At the time I thought he was a grown man. Looking back I realize that at nineteen he was still a boy and every bit as lost as I.

But in that moment we thought we were something else entirely. Being deceived by youth, we naively believed that we possessed the maturity to make decisions, choices, promises...that were impossible.

But why they were impossible has always alluded me. I have no doubt that we were in love. It was a desperate love, almost cannibalistic in its desire to be. A strong drink of emotion that burned my throat and my soul.

It makes me wonder why we didn't make it? Too young. Maybe. Probably. But the fact remains, it was what it was. It was a part of my destiny. It was a treasured thread in my tapestry without which I would have become unraveled at fifteen and not be the creation I am at fifty one.

Two days ago with no definable reason I picked up the phone and dialed his number. With the first words he spoke I laughed out loud. His voice was still true after all these many many years. We laughed and talked as we did so many nights back when we were young. A time far away when he had only the light from a candle to guide us..and only his grandmother's quilt to shield us from the world.

A time when I was so afraid that my only choice was to be brave or die...he was there for that part of it.

We ended the call by affirming the importance we had each played in each other's lives, a role that served its purpose well then and continues to do so in so many ways. I love and appreciate so many people who have journeyed through my life, but this one is special. This one was willing to be lost with me for a while, willing to try to take care of me, willing to .......love me.